Hellooo World!

hellooo world

I know its been so very long since my last post, but one of the main reasons I’ve been ‘off the grid’ for such a while is that I’ve been going through a period of  gestation.  Finally after months and months of expanding and stretching my insides way beyond what I thought was possible, my labor has finally brought forth a brand new baby…novel! (FYI–I am referring to a book, so note to parents to be: Please do not name your newborn child by this unique, but understandably unpopular moniker.)

Anyway, as most parents can attest, it has well been worth the pain and sacrifice to produce my little bundle of joy, but now the hard part begins: showing off  your precious little creation with pride and hope no one politely smiles while thinking, ‘Wow, this one should’ve stayed in!’

However, I don’t think that will be the case, because all babies are adorable… and special…right?

 

 

Soul Feud

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Slowly I awaken in a bubble of peace while listening to the familiar comforting hum of my convection oven dehydrating berries.  Earlier this morning, I made spelt crackers which I will have with sardines and avocados for lunch.  I feel good.

Unfortunately, moments like this have become a luxury.  Instead, I have found myself running around like a lunatic, shoving any and everything in my mouth to keep going so I can meet everyone else’s obligations while ignoring the frantic cries of my own soul.  The result has been weight gain with vitality loss.

Therefore, I have decided to take some time and give myself a home healing retreat.  At first, it was a struggle.  I felt like an addict going through detox, and really that’s what it was.  After the first two days of cleansing with my body rebelling in pain, breakouts and emotional swings, I was able to still my mind and lost memories resurfaced:  ‘Yes! I used to prepare healing recipes from scratch, take time to read–usually in warm, fragrant herbal baths…when was the last time I made a healing salve or infused oil?’

I am now all too aware that to hold on to the things that feed your soul take a staunch committment and a dogged determination to avoid the readily available temptations that lurk at every turn.  Every party, social gathering, date, or business meeting is fraught with things that slowly destroy our bodies.  And who is the advanced soul that can take ‘just one’?  So I have found myself trying to negotiate the minefields of delicious distraction, until I can make it home where I am by then way too tired from the fight to think about what’s best for me.

I therefore need to reconstruct my life in such a way to make sure I am taken care of FIRST and not see it as selfish, for everything that comes from me can only be as good as what is within me.  So with gratitude, I mark today as another victory in this ongoing ‘soul feud’.

Mask in The Mirror

“I’m staring at the Mask in the Mirror; I’m asking it to change its ways…”

Yes, my own take on Michael Jackson’s hit, but today I think I’ve taken a bit of a hit myself. Let me explain: I was very upset at some “friends” who I called days ago with a very important message, asking them to get back to me–and they didn’t. Now I know in every situation there may be extenuating circumstances we might not be aware of, so I tried to allow for that. Maybe their phones got chewed up by the same dog, thrown into the toilet by the baby, or all 3 of my messages just never made it through–you know, ‘technical difficulties’. So, today I make another attempt at contacting them and SURPRISE! They did get my urgent pleas, but for some reason…

So just as I prepare to get on my self-righteous soapbox and call one of my REAL friends to complain, I see 15 ‘missed’ calls from a friend who has been trying to unsuccessfully reach me for about two weeks. I swear, I wasn’t avoiding her…reallly. I just happened to be ‘unavailabale’ every single time she called and couldn’t find the time to actually get back to her, because…
I had a song to sing.

“I’m staring at the Mask in The Mirror…”

HEAT CANKLES!

Hello World! No, this is not an image of Fred Flinstone’s foot, it is my brand new Cankle, compliments of these continual 90 degree and higher temperatures.  Usually I’d like to think I have a fairly formed, even ankle–actually its one of the more curvaceous parts of my otherwise lumpy body. However today it’s all lumped (pardon the pun) together in one bloated blob of water retention.

I’ve been keeping my legs propped up all day in the hopes that I don’t have to borrow grandma’s orthopedic shoes to go out with my girlfriends tonight, but these cankles seem to be getting bigger by the moment. Yet, I’m not one to give up–I’ll just rock my Crocs with a sundress and thank God I don’t have a date tonight.

ALCHEME

Being a natural alchemist, I am constantly driven to find various items to create something new. I gather plants, flowers and sticks to make medecines, teas, oils and ointments. I especially like to look for unique things in obscure places, and find myself wandering through back streets and hidden alleys in anticipation of the moment something suddenly goes ‘aha!’. However, despite this ‘magical’ process, I do not always produce an instant masterpiece, and have made many a mess trying to create something that appeared to seamlessly connect in my head. Sometimes I start out making one thing and end up with something totally different, but much better than I ever could’ve planned it. Well, I have come to see life that way too. In spite of our best efforts and ‘mojo’, we are never quite sure exactly what we’ll get. Sometimes it makes sense and sometimes it just looks like a mess. However, what I am learning to do is find my joy in the process of discovery, because when we keep trying and don’t give up sometimes we often find that our greatest achievements come out of the most unexpected and messy places.