Food Fight: Day 13,150

Yes, I turned another year recently, with not one, but two surprise cakes to commemorate the occasion.  On top of that were numerous dinners.  I was truly grateful for the thoughtfulness, but you can’t very well have someone take you to a seafood restaurant for your birthday and order a carrot stick, can you?  My mother, somehow knowing (as only a mother can) had already sent me a fruit arrangement the day before. God bless her.

Needless to say, this has left me having to cleanse all the accumlated sugar and ‘what not’ from my system.  It has not been easy.  I did okay while shutting myself away at home, but after three days, I realized I had to venture out.  I was running out of spring water.  So shakily I stepped foot into the lure of bright colors and neon signs.  Once on the road, I began my auto pilot into the Dunkin Donuts drive thru before catching myself at the last minute, and so it was with sweaty brow and palpitating heart that I finally made it to the supermarket.  Great refuge.  Is it just me, or has anyone else ever heard whispering coming from the cookie aisle before?

Nevertheless, I am proud of myself–I had my list and stuck to it, making sure to keep on the perimeter and was almost home free until I saw those sneaky @%$! moved the whole snack aisle to the last leg, right  before the check out. It was then that I heard my favorite tortilla chips pitifully crying out my name–they must’ve seen me coming.  What else could I do? We’d been through so much, I couldn’t just act like I didn’t know them and walk on by.  I promised to take them in only if they’d let me have the serving size (9 chips) and no more.  They agreed.

Overall I think it was a win-win situation.  For breakfast, I had unsweetened plain yogurt w/diced green apples and lunch was salad with fresh carrot juice.  Dinner consisted of sushi with brown rice, and for a flourishing finale, I plowed through half a bag of corn chips before coming to, realizing what had happened. It’s okay… it’s not the first time I’d been lied to for an opportunistic moment.  I must admit it did hurt at first, but at least I’m wiser now and better prepared for day 13,151!

Soul Feud

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Slowly I awaken in a bubble of peace while listening to the familiar comforting hum of my convection oven dehydrating berries.  Earlier this morning, I made spelt crackers which I will have with sardines and avocados for lunch.  I feel good.

Unfortunately, moments like this have become a luxury.  Instead, I have found myself running around like a lunatic, shoving any and everything in my mouth to keep going so I can meet everyone else’s obligations while ignoring the frantic cries of my own soul.  The result has been weight gain with vitality loss.

Therefore, I have decided to take some time and give myself a home healing retreat.  At first, it was a struggle.  I felt like an addict going through detox, and really that’s what it was.  After the first two days of cleansing with my body rebelling in pain, breakouts and emotional swings, I was able to still my mind and lost memories resurfaced:  ‘Yes! I used to prepare healing recipes from scratch, take time to read–usually in warm, fragrant herbal baths…when was the last time I made a healing salve or infused oil?’

I am now all too aware that to hold on to the things that feed your soul take a staunch committment and a dogged determination to avoid the readily available temptations that lurk at every turn.  Every party, social gathering, date, or business meeting is fraught with things that slowly destroy our bodies.  And who is the advanced soul that can take ‘just one’?  So I have found myself trying to negotiate the minefields of delicious distraction, until I can make it home where I am by then way too tired from the fight to think about what’s best for me.

I therefore need to reconstruct my life in such a way to make sure I am taken care of FIRST and not see it as selfish, for everything that comes from me can only be as good as what is within me.  So with gratitude, I mark today as another victory in this ongoing ‘soul feud’.